someecards.com - I hope a promotion isn't out of the question because I'm ready to do nothing at a more senior level.

Chat  —  Posted: April 18, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
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Chat  —  Posted: April 16, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga, YouTube Videos
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Oh that I worked in a place where the cleaning staff actually cleaned the work place….

someecards.com - My nose has done more running this spring than I have.

I confess dear reader, college never prepared me for the horrors I continually witness in the Corporate Hood.

someecards.com - Please remind me how well you used to run things here. Because I've seen your leadership skills and I wouldn't trust your ability to act if someone burned a bag of popcorn in the break room

Nevertheless, in all this we must be strong. Stand for your beliefs. Do what is right and if necessary, tell your co-worker the truth.

someecards.com - I think it's time you brushed your teeth. I just got pistol whipped by your breath.

Chat  —  Posted: April 14, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
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someecards.com - Rest assured that your recent accomplishments at work have gone largely unnoticed.

Chat  —  Posted: April 11, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
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Image  —  Posted: April 11, 2014 in Jungle Work Life

evian baby&me: http://youtu.be/pfxB5ut-KTs

someecards.com - I wish it was nationally televised every time I fixed my boss's mistakes.

Chat  —  Posted: April 4, 2014 in Jungle Hustle
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NPR: Stop, Thief! When Colleagues Steal From The Office Fridge. http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIw9rXPqQk

In the Corporate Hood, there are times when you need to stand your ground and protect your space:

someecards.com - I support abolishing Stand Your Ground laws unless they apply to coworkers entering my cubicle

We all know after turning on the computer and getting breakfast, the workday starts with perusing emails in Outlook placing Groupon, Match.com, and Bath & Body Works in their respective folders. Then, a certain email catches your eye and notice the time stamp- 11:45 p.m. You think what is the logic of a person working at such an ungodly hour? Here is the reason why:

someecards.com - I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers

Yet, in spite of the humdrum tedium life in the concrete jungle, we all know:

someecards.com - There's got to be an easier way to make a living than barely doing anything at my job all day.

Make it a great Wednesday!

Chat  —  Posted: April 2, 2014 in Jungle Work Life
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SOCIAL VAMPIRE
103 Twilight Boulevard, Casket 1404 • Forks, Washington 00000 • (666) 666-6666 • cullenlookalike_7@gmail.com

Target Position: YOURS

PROFESSIONAL SUMMARY
Pure-ty schmuck with over ten years of accumulated experience of showing up on the job. L-A-Z-Y. Easily distracted, strong complainer, timewaster, dreamer, and cubicle dweller. I sound intelligent. Broad-based but transferrable understanding of nothing. I do just enough to get by.

PROFESSIONAL COMPETENCIES
Liar • Internet Research • Quiz Taker • Cafeteria Entrepreneur • Pet Saga• Candy Crush

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
Pizza Hood, Bolivia, TX 2010-Present
Operations Specialist I (2013-Whenever)
~Take two hour lunch breaks.
~Come in whenever I feel like it, like come in late and leave early,
~Always have an excuse as to why I cannot do overtime.
~Act stupid so I can pass off the hard work to someone else.
~Stay at other people’s cubicle and hog up all their time.
~Complain incessantly as to the reason why people don’t like me.
~Play the victim. Sulk all day. I am drama waiting to happen.
~Gossip. Lie.
~Only come in early when there is free food.

Pizza Wanna Be, Bolivia, TX 2003-2010
Level 1A Manager
~Passed the buck!
~Complained about how I wasn’t getting paid.
~Brought home dinner every night because I was entitled to it.
~Used company phone to talk about sports.
~Used the company line of credit for grocery shopping.
~Was trained but it didn’t help because I wasn’t listening anyway.
~Hoarded information. Gossiped. Lied.
~Tried to sound intelligent on conference calls.
~Spent a majority of my time looking for someone to complete me.

TECHNICAL EXPERIENCE
Computer Skills: Word (Only used to do homework), Excel, PowerPoint (Never used it), Outlook, Visio (Never used it), Access (This is a LIE)

EDUCATION
I’m working on that. Word!

Chat  —  Posted: March 31, 2014 in Jungle Hustle
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