Okay, so I slacked off last week. Well…not really. I had a really good post to write but I got distracted. After I cooked dinner, I couldn’t remember what it was. Perhaps it wasn’t all that good. Well, anyway… Here is a second post on a lighter note. Enjoy and have a happy Thanksgiving.

Working on Thanksgiving?

Workplace Annoyance

No Debates on Politics and Religion on Thanksgiving People, okay?

Chat  —  Posted: November 25, 2014 in Jungle Work Life
Tags: , , ,

Lately (due to life of course) I have been abandoning the American Lie Dream and have gone through a concrete jungle cleanse of many of my worldly goods. In the beginning it was not as liberating as many brag about because I began to think about how much money and time I spent in accumulating things.

The sad truth is my life got wrapped up in what the bible calls “in the abundance of things [I] possess.” I never thought that would be me. Having a high opinion of my life, I had great pride in knowing that I had gone further in life than most would expect and exceeded some of my own expectations. No. Scratch that. None of the people back in Connecticut (family included) thought I could achieve or was worth anything. To them I was nothing more than a project hood rat destined for failure. And here I was attempting to validate my existence with material things.

The truth is when I looked into the mirror, I discovered an unhappy and angry little cheetah. Compared to what I dreamed to be and what people thought about me, I concluded the life I was living was about as fulfilling as a hot air balloon. The real problem was I thought too highly of myself and failed to do periodic checks that would keep me humble. Here I was more concerned about my reputation and proving that I was better than what they believed of me rather than nurturing the state of my soul.

Have you ever had that tape running through your head? The childhood scripts of people who you will never see again telling you what they think you should be doing? Funny thing is, the same people I was trying to impress never volunteered to finance my projects or pay my bills. What a waste! I alone am to blame because no one has control except I give it to them.

Another damnable thought is does anyone ever tell you the truth about the American Dream? They advertise that one can have it all but did they sell you on the fine print that you would have to mortgage your life by living in so much debt?

Then I asked myself a few questions:

Why was I holding on to school books for over 10 years when I already had the degree hanging on the wall?
Why did I have to own two televisions and two Blue Ray DVDs when I hardly watch one TV in the first place?
Did I really need to buy a three piece furniture set when I only use two pieces?
What was I going to do with over 20 books that I will never read again?
Was it necessary to have over 200 movies?
Did I really need to buy the washer and dryer?

Etc., etc., etc…

I finally came to the conclusion of the matter: this was all lies, trash, and garbage.

You see I could never understand why those who immigrated to the states would open up stores and be successful in a short period of time while I lived here my entire life and could never achieve the “big break.”

The truth is I was as clear as mud as to what the big break was supposed to be. I spent too much of my time feasting off of pre-existing worldviews that did not line up with my beliefs. Instead, I should have tapped into my introvert wonder power and block out all of the voices that fought for first place in my head. My strategy should have consisted of thinking, planning, and executing Lady Cheetah’s course.

I am done with these man-made, pre-existing templates. It is so undesirable. Living a lie is such a prickly existence and there is no way I will ever be completely satisfied until I tap into the power that was mine from the beginning.

No, I will not use the excuse of I have bills to pay. Who doesn’t? No, I will not say I have to stay put until better comes along. That is an excuse. I can change that reality. The truth is a comfortable rut is nothing more than fear disguised as so called wisdom. Since when is it beneficial to remain in a toxic environment? Since when is it advantageous to halt between two opinions? It never is and never will be.

When I moved on to a better job, the leeches came out to feast on my soul. When I started loosing weight, it confused so called friends because they were comfortable as long as I was fat and unhappy. When I stopped relaxing my hair so my natural hair would grow healthy and strong, I crossed over to the dark side. When I went vegan, you would have thought I joined a cult. Who cares what they think? In purging my soul my mind is clear. My vision is sharp and my focus is amazing.

I still have a long way to go, but I have realized that to live simple is to live life at its best.

Chat  —  Posted: November 25, 2014 in Rat Race Saga
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

One of the things I have observed as an upward trend in Corporate America is a lack of training. Most major organizations cut corners in the name of technology and will hand the unsuspecting victim employee a manual and tell them to sit in an empty cubicle for almost eight hours a day with no access to a computer. Or, if they are less bureaucratic efficient, he/she can access online training with either no facilitator or one facilitator who is tasked to train 200 other employees across three regions in different time zones. By the end of the session, the student has to pass with an 80% or above using two hours worth of information of which 90% of it was not covered in class. And let us not forget if there is shadow training, the little lamb team member might be trained by three different people who do one job in three if not more different ways.

Gone are the days when training meant face to face interaction with a real live human being who actually knew their job.

It is disheartening to say that one of the reasons for a lack of excellence in Corporate America is because people have the “I am just doing what I was told” syndrome. Ah, yes! The good ole ethical dilemma. No in depth understanding. No sound reasoning or logic. Just  do what I am told.  Visual learning minus the acquisition of knowledge. Brainless. Mindless and numbing cubicle work.

In part I blame this corporate slothfulness on those who have the ability to incorporate good training curricula for adult learners. There is a need to create good, job specific lesson plans that are designed to optimize departmental efficiency. At the same time, the person who is paid to do a job is responsible to extract as much of the right knowledge so they can to do their job with excellence.

If you have experienced poor customer service, most likely it is tied to poor training. Or someone too lazy to screen during the interview process.

My name is Lady Cheetah and I approve this message.

 

 

Chat  —  Posted: November 11, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
Tags: , ,

So Says the Manager

I have always been name brand loyal. From product lines to working in big name companies if it was a well-known name, I gravitated toward it.

Then things started to change. As I clawed my way up the corporate ladder with minimal success, I found myself angry, hurt, and resentful toward those in leadership. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to the typical conventional management system as there is nothing I found inherently wrong with the design. What I take issue with is some of the people who occupy seats of management.

From the outward appearance I might have appeared successful and on the upswing to my fellow colleagues but deep down on the inside I knew better. I knew that it was a contentious uphill battle for me because I was dealing with leaders (or so they call themselves) that had the social and emotional intelligence and attention span of a gnat. Gawd! Help us all.

This is What You Say about Your Boss

There are many theories to leadership. Some say it is innate and there are some individuals who are born with leadership traits. Other schools of thought believe anyone can be a leader. There are a few that deem it situational, while others uphold the leadership dynamic and power should be shared and team based.

And then there is reality. The true leadership that plagues the walls of the ivory towers and servicing centers of corporate America: The Wizard of Oz Complex Leadership Theory. You know who they are. They occupy seats of leadership (I might be giving them too much credit, pardon me) sitting in their insulated fish bowls (offices) absolutely clueless on operational management. Never been a subject matter expert except on how to look the part and sound the part. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat in meetings, listened on conference calls to the mind boggling Sugar Honey Ice Tea (S.H.I.T.) that passes off as intelligence. Oh! And don’t even get me started about the grammatical and spelling errors in power points presentations and email communications. Urgggggg! This is the stuff that gets my goat and grinds me bones.

The Solution: Good Coffee

Well. Because the coffee sucks, pardon me while I vent: “Rats and a Heifer!” (Word Press Blogger Professor PVJ, Punchy Lands)

The Delusional Manager Says

The truth is some really do SUCK at their job and this perplexes me…..a bit. Jack rabbit! A whole lot!

But during one of my quiet moments when I was peacefully grazing in holy reverence my dinner and watching the GRIMM, it finally dawned on me. They are like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. All grand delusion but no real substance. Thick headed and resistant to common sense. Insecure if the right answer comes from someone who is below them on the food chain. Hell bent on eight balling you into a corner because they believe you are after their job when the thought never crossed your mind. And just because they are in management doesn’t mean they are management material. And while we expect them to have the answers and be role models of what we would like to become or in the process of becoming, I will tell you in over many years of working to not sit with abated breath. As corporations cut financial corners, drop in quality of customer service, they will also be less selective of quality leadership.

The bottom line is, if they like you, you are in. If they don’t like you, you are out. If they are afraid of you, it is hell to pay.

Chat  —  Posted: November 4, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga, Rat Race University
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Tell your company how much you appreciate their service:

Chat  —  Posted: October 28, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
Tags: , , ,

Just in case you thought the madness was only in your cubicle, think again!

This young comedian goes by the name of Kev On Stage and he is hilarious. For a better Life in the Concrete Jungle Experience, go to the Play List on the left hand corner and select “Who’s Grandma Twerking?”

And you thought you were the only one happy to get a refund check….

Chat  —  Posted: October 21, 2014 in Rat Race Saga, YouTube Videos
Tags: , , , ,

Happy Tuesday I Think

Posted: September 30, 2014 in Jungle Work Life

Seriously, I had no idea going for TEFL/TESOL certification would be this….cumbersome. It is like going to school all over again except like a grown-up fast track version without the illusion of grandeur.  Maybe it is because I didn’t take out a school loan but paid cash instead. 

It is amazing how long it is taking me to write a simple, one sided blog post without being alarmed by subject and verb agreement, active or passive voice, verb tense, and such the like. Etc., etc., etc., in my Yul Brenner voice. For all you newbies that line was taken from The King & I.

Make it a great day WP Peeps!

Happy Tuesday!

Posted: September 23, 2014 in Jungle Work Life

I just wanted to say hello.

I can’t think of one thing to blog about and this goes totally against my Pharisaical tendency to look WordPress righteous. Yet, this feels so liberating and it does not feel lazy as I once thought.

I think my gift of sarcasm might have found a new outlet….hmmmm….

Have a great day in the Concrete Jungle and don’t hurt anybody!

One reason why office rage should be legal

Recently I saw a clip from a movie that centered on the idea of legalized crime without police intervention. Not that the idea is all that far-fetched but it was a curious one. Then while watching one of the GRIMM episodes of season two, Sergeant Wu made a comment about office rage. Oh yeah! An idea was born.

As I ferociously scribbled with unadulterated inspiration an image of what the Corporate Hood would look like, it occurred to me that out of this magnanimous chaos the blessedness of the short-term benefits: less stress, decreased gastrointestinal problems, reduced anxiety, and uninterrupted sleep. Now that sounds like the good life. Granted, in order to meet service benchmarks and facilitate organizational management, we would solicit the assistance of the National Guard or Navy Seal for law and order. I know, someone out there over the rainbow would say this is tragic and inhumane. Yeah, but in a self-centered, arrogant, self-absorbed god-like analysis, we might conclude the ends will justify the means.
So. Here. We. Go.

WARNING: Incorporating such tactics could get you killed or worse, fired from your job.

1. Inordinate use of descriptive and colorful expletives to get your points across during team meetings.
2. Cursing customers or terrorizing them by hanging up and calling back just for kicks and giggles.
3. Using the “birdie” as a definitive way of saying “no.”
4. Egging your boss’ office.
5. Looting the vending machine.
6. Trashing the coffee machine. (I would highly advise against this if the brands are Starbucks or Keurig)
7. Carjacking the CEO.
8. Vandalizing the bathroom. (Actually, this might be an improvement)
9. Stealing your co-worker’s lunch. (Of course this is nothing new)
10. Driving your car through the front door.

Chat  —  Posted: September 16, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Chat  —  Posted: September 9, 2014 in Jungle Hustle, Rat Race Saga
Tags: , , ,